Dog
I saw a dog in the street yesterday and the stupid fucker ran straight at two different cars. So being the benevolent guy that I am I took him home. My wife was pissed.
I chained him up outside and promised to take him to a no kill shelter. This overly rambunctious puppy proceded to tear the shit out of my landscaping and destroy a plant that my wife had nursed back to health. When she got home she cried over the plant. When I saw that the dog had destroyed it I teared up. You help one and it hurts something else you were trying to help. I realize I am talking about dogs and plants and not people - and don't worry I am not turning into some pansy ass tree hugging don't eat meat pinko. I leave that to all the really pussies.
My friend Josh killed himself 2 years ago this past April the 10th. It is still some fucked up shit. Man am I eloquent. But really - I can't express what I think because I still don't know what I think. All I know is I feel pain and anger. My friend Josh was my wife's brother. Peeling back the layers of the onion. So we have been reduced to people who cry over plants. I can't help anyone right now so I try to help what I can - dogs and plants. People hurt to much - shit - plants hurt. Life is loss.
I thought I would be further along after two years - but I am realizing that this process of grief, etc. is going to take much longer.
Oh yeah, and I'm pissed off.
I chained him up outside and promised to take him to a no kill shelter. This overly rambunctious puppy proceded to tear the shit out of my landscaping and destroy a plant that my wife had nursed back to health. When she got home she cried over the plant. When I saw that the dog had destroyed it I teared up. You help one and it hurts something else you were trying to help. I realize I am talking about dogs and plants and not people - and don't worry I am not turning into some pansy ass tree hugging don't eat meat pinko. I leave that to all the really pussies.
My friend Josh killed himself 2 years ago this past April the 10th. It is still some fucked up shit. Man am I eloquent. But really - I can't express what I think because I still don't know what I think. All I know is I feel pain and anger. My friend Josh was my wife's brother. Peeling back the layers of the onion. So we have been reduced to people who cry over plants. I can't help anyone right now so I try to help what I can - dogs and plants. People hurt to much - shit - plants hurt. Life is loss.
I thought I would be further along after two years - but I am realizing that this process of grief, etc. is going to take much longer.
Oh yeah, and I'm pissed off.
posted by redwine at 11:38 AM
2 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
"edited version"
I know the feeling.
At one time I had an arguement with my ex, where she made a point about how I could never really help anyone. She said I had a hero's complex and that I wanted to save the world in some kind of vain attempt. That I would try to help everyone around me but never help myself. That I didn't know who I was and that I had so much anger in me because of that. See also thought that I should seek counseling.
You know what I told her?
"Get behind me Satan."
Post a Comment
<< Home